Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
