We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
