I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
