If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
