Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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