i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So much rum. So many feels.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
