so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
