There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
