just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
