fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
