I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
either way he was missing a nipple.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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