6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize