I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize