Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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