I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
