4 words: hood of his car
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
sex in a hospital.. check
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
