I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize