Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
