I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
