It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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