No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
