Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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