He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
