Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
