guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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