I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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