Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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