Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
