i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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