im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
did i just pee glitter
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
