The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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