Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
