If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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