you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
