I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
