Come see our sink grown plant.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
do nipples grow back?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize