does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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