I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
