I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
