No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
