return my video game
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
