I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
