so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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