David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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