if i can run in heels then i can drive
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
