She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
