I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I could have mohawked her pubes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize