i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had sex on a roof
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
