Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
