I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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