Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize