I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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