Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
