Yo dont text me then not text me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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