Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
