Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize