Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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