you would pick up someone in the library
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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