I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
