Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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