he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
