Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
