I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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