fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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